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How to Date a Freudian

Many people today know at least a little bit about Sigmund Freud.  As cracked as we now acknowledge him to be, we have to give the guy some props for creating the greatest evil movement known to modern medicine, psychoanalysis. Naturally, students of psychology and sociology are going to study modern psychoanalysis, and some will understandably cling to the enduring principles established by Freud.  If you find yourself dating one of these people, here are some things I suggest you do:


Pointer #1: Never talk about bananas.

Thank you to Kaleigh’s friend Liz for finding me this image.


Pointer #2: Never talk about caves.

“So come out of your cave, walking on your hands…”


Pointer #3: Never talk about elephants.

“Don’t say that you love me; just tell me that you want me…”


Pointer # 4: Never talk about flowers.

“Oh rose, thou art sick!”


Pointer #5: Never talk about architecture.

“Skyscrapers, please forgive me. I didn’t mean a word I said…”


Pointer #6: Never talk about water.

“Drowning in the sea of love, where everyone would love to drown…”


Pointer #7: Never talk about dreams.

“Good night and sweet dreams… which we’ll analyze at breakfast.”


Pointer # 8: Never talk about your parents.

“It’s not like my mother is a maniac or a raving thing.”









2 thoughts on “How to Date a Freudian

  1. Wonderful. Just wonderful. All great advice. And Big Mommu, as far as movies are concerned, there are a lot of movies you should watch, such as Norman Bates’ debut and The Good Son and Waterboy. These movies teach the inner workings of psychoanalysis…Just don’t watch them *with* that significant other 😉

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